When the Brain Gets Stuck: Problem Solving and Executive Functioning
Problem solving is one of the executive functioning skills we use all day, every day.
We might not always notice it, because many of the problems we solve are small. But our brain is constantly having to work things out, make decisions, change plans, and find another way forward.
The road is blocked.
The child cannot find their shoes.
The laptop will not turn on.
The bus is late.
The shop has run out of what you needed.
Someone changes the plan.
You cannot find your keys.
You are cooking dinner and realise something is missing.
All of these are everyday problems.
And every time one happens, the brain has to decide what to do next.
Problem Solving Is Not Just One Skill
Problem solving sounds like one skill, but it actually pulls on lots of executive functioning skills at the same time.
To solve a problem, you need working memory to hold onto what is happening.
You need flexible thinking to come up with another option.
You need inhibitory control to stop yourself reacting straight away.
You need emotional regulation to manage the feeling that comes with the problem.
You need planning and decision making to work out what to do next.
So when we say a child struggles with problem solving, we are not talking about one simple thing.
We are talking about a whole set of brain skills needing to work together.
The Emotion Often Comes First
When a problem happens, there is usually an emotional response first.
Something has gone wrong.
The plan has changed.
The thing they expected to happen is not happening.
For some children, that emotion is small and manageable. For others, especially children with ADHD, autism or executive functioning difficulties, that emotion can go from 0 to 100 very quickly.
Once that emotion takes over, thinking clearly becomes much harder.
This is where we may see shouting, crying, refusing, panicking, arguing, walking away or shutting down.
But underneath that behaviour, there may be a problem the child cannot solve in that moment.
When the Thinking Part of the Brain Goes Offline
I often talk about “flipping the lid”. Why Autistic Children “Flip Their Lid” When Routines Change in School — The Autism & ADHD Advocates CIC
When a child becomes overwhelmed, stressed or emotionally flooded, the thinking part of the brain does not work in the same way.
That is why they may not be able to think logically in the moment.
Afterwards, when they are calm, they may be able to see the answer.
They might even say:
“I don’t know why I did that.”
“I should have just done this.”
“I didn’t think of that.”
But that is the point.
In the moment, they could not think of it.
Their brain was stuck.
The Scooter Example
One example I use is a young person who borrowed his brother’s electric scooter.
His mum told him that when he brought it back, he needed to put it on charge because his brother needed it later.
When he got home, he went to use the plug he normally used, but something else was already plugged in.
In that moment, his brain got stuck.
He looked at the plug and thought, “I can’t use that.”
So he put the charger down and left.
Later, when he had calmed down and was away from the situation, he realised:
“Why didn’t I just use another plug?”
To someone else, that answer might seem obvious.
But in the moment, it was not obvious to him.
That is problem solving.
Why Small Problems Can Become Big Reactions
This is why small problems can sometimes lead to big reactions.
It is not always the size of the problem that matters.
It is whether the child has the executive functioning skills available in that moment to deal with it.
If they struggle with flexible thinking, they may not be able to see another way.
If they struggle with emotional regulation, the feeling may take over.
If they struggle with inhibitory control, they may react before they have had time to think.
If they struggle with working memory, they may forget what they were meant to do next.
So what looks like “overreacting” may actually be a child whose brain has hit a problem and cannot find the next step.
What This Can Look Like
A child may:
refuse to do the task
walk away
cry or shout
say “I can’t do it”
become angry
panic
shut down
blame someone else
give up quickly
make a decision that does not seem to make sense
But the question we need to ask is not just, “Why are they behaving like this?”
A better question is:
“What problem are they trying to solve?”
Helping the Brain Find the Next Step
When a child is stuck, they may not need a lecture.
They may need help finding the next step.
That might mean slowing things down.
It might mean offering two choices.
It might mean saying:
“Let’s look at what happened.”
“What else could we try?”
“What is the first thing we need to do?”
“Is there another way around this?”
The aim is not to do all the thinking for them.
The aim is to help their brain get back to thinking.
Problem Solving Is a Skill
Problem solving is a skill.
And like all executive functioning skills, it develops over time.
Some children need more support to build that skill.
They need adults who understand that behaviour is often communication. They need adults who can look underneath the reaction and ask what executive functioning skill was missing in that moment.
Because when we understand problem-solving, we stop seeing every reaction as bad behaviour.
We start seeing a child who may be stuck, overwhelmed, or unable to find the next step.
And that changes how we support them.
