Dismantling the Myth: Why Neurodivergent Diagnosis Helps Children, Not Harms Them

5 Dec

By Sarah-Jane McGarry, The Autism & ADHD Advocates CIC

There’s a growing narrative suggesting that children are being “over-labelled” as autistic or ADHD. Some claim that diagnoses are unnecessary, harmful, or simply excuses for behaviour. As someone who has spent over twenty years working with autistic and ADHD people of all ages, I can say confidently: this could not be further from the truth.

Let’s take a closer look at the claims being made, and why they fall apart under even basic scrutiny.

1. “Children didn’t used to have these labels — they were just ‘difficult’ or ‘quiet’.”

This is the first major misunderstanding.
Children already had labels long before autism or ADHD were widely recognised — and those labels were far more negative:

“naughty”
“lazy”
“attention-seeking”
“disruptive”
“slow”
“emotional”
“difficult”

These were not neutral descriptions. They were judgments, and children carried the shame of them into adulthood.

A diagnostic label is not a burden — it is a replacement for blame.
It takes the child out of a moral frame (“bad behaviour”) and places them into an understanding frame (“different brain wiring”). That shift is everything.

2. “Diagnoses help adults, not children.”

This is simply untrue — and shows a complete lack of understanding of what neurodivergent children actually experience.

What people see on the outside may look like:

fidgeting
interrupting
daydreaming
meltdowns
anxiety
avoidance

But what they don’t see is the internal experience:

the constant battle to regulate emotions
sensory overload
working memory failures
the shame of masking
confusion about social rules
not knowing why they can’t do what others seem to manage effortlessly

Adults may notice behaviour.
Children feel the chaos inside their own minds.

A diagnosis is often the first moment a child realises:

👉 “I’m not broken — my brain just works differently.”

That isn’t harmful.
That’s relief.

3. “Using terms like autism and ADHD is negative. They create stigma.”

The negativity does not come from the diagnosis.
It comes from people misunderstanding the diagnosis.

Calling a child “difficult” or “naughty” is negative.
Calling a child autistic or ADHD is descriptive. It explains:

why they think differently
how their nervous system processes information
what kinds of environments they thrive in
what overwhelms them
what supports they need

The only people who think “diagnosis = negative” are those who still see neurodivergence as deficit rather than difference.

Modern neurodiversity-affirming practice views autism and ADHD as valid, lifelong neurotypes, not faults.

4. “Adults push for diagnoses because they want an explanation for behaviour.”

Actually, adults push for assessment because:

their child is struggling
school is difficult
emotional regulation is overwhelming
they see a child working twice as hard for half the result
they want early support
they know how painful it is to grow up misunderstood

Parents seek answers because they recognise something important:
behaviour is communication, not defiance.

A diagnosis is not a shortcut for adults.
It’s a roadmap.

It tells parents and teachers how that child’s brain works so they can stop trying to force them into the wrong box.

5. “Diagnosis becomes an excuse and stops children developing.”

This is one of the most damaging myths.

A diagnosis does not block a child in.
It unlocks the correct support.

Imagine teaching a child to read without knowing they’re short-sighted.
You can tell them to “try harder” all day long — if they can’t see the letters, they can’t read the words.

Diagnosis says:

here’s the right pair of glasses
here’s how their brain learns
here’s what overwhelms them
here’s how to reduce distress
here’s the teaching method that works
here’s the environment they need

A child who understands their mind grows in confidence, not excuses.

Children who go unsupported are the ones who shrink.

6. “Children shouldn’t know their diagnosis.”

This is perhaps the most harmful idea in the entire piece.

When you hide a diagnosis from a child, you are teaching them:

something is wrong with you
your differences must be kept secret
you are not allowed to understand yourself
you should fit into a world that doesn’t fit you

Research is clear:

⭐ Children who understand their neurotype form healthier identities.
⭐ They are less likely to develop shame and masking behaviours.
⭐ They develop stronger emotional regulation.
⭐ They perform better academically because they learn according to their strengths.

The only people who think a diagnosis “defines” a child are those who never understood neurodivergence in the first place.

Children don’t become their diagnosis.
Children become themselves, finally understood.

7. Rising diagnosis rates don’t mean over-diagnosis — they mean less missed diagnosis.

Autism and ADHD didn’t suddenly appear in the 2000s.
We simply got better at recognising them.

Of course numbers rise when:

society becomes more aware
teachers receive training
parents understand the signs
stigma decreases
waiting lists finally start moving

This isn’t a crisis.
It’s progress.

We are finally identifying the people — especially children — who previously fell through the cracks.

Final Thoughts: Understanding Is Never Harmful

Labelling a child “naughty” harms them.
Labelling them “lazy” harms them.
Labelling them “attention-seeking” harms them.

But recognising a child as autistic or ADHD?

That allows:

support
understanding
adaptations
self-awareness
self-esteem
connection
mental health protection
early intervention

A diagnosis doesn’t limit a child.
It liberates them from shame.

The only people uncomfortable with labels are those who misunderstand what the labels actually mean.

Our responsibility is not to hide neurodivergence.
Our responsibility is to honour it, support it, and help children understand the brilliant wiring of their own minds.