Why Understanding Your Own ADHD or Autism is the Key to Changing Your Life

This isn’t about labels. It’s about learning how your brain works, what skills are holding you back, and what tools you need to make real progress. 

 

Because when you’re autistic or have ADHD, you will almost certainly experience difficulties with a group of mental processes called executive functioning skills. These aren’t just school or work-related skills, they are life skills. They are the foundation of how we organise our day, manage emotions, start or finish tasks, and cope with what life throws at us. 

 

And when they’re not working properly, everything else starts to unravel. 

 

Executive functioning is a term that describes a set of brain-based skills that help us: 

 

 

Think of them as your brain’s “control panel.” If some parts of that panel aren’t working well, everyday life can become exhausting, chaotic, and frustrating. 

 

 

Imagine an adult with undiagnosed ADHD who is constantly late, forgets commitments, and impulsively spends money they don't have. Over time, their partner grows tired of the chaos and eventually leaves. They lose their family, not because they don’t care, but because they didn’t understand why they kept getting it wrong. 

 

Or think about someone who uses alcohol or drugs to escape the constant pressure in their head, the racing thoughts, the shame, the sensory overload. Many people with ADHD or autism self-medicate with substances simply because they don’t know what else to do. They’ve never been taught about their executive functioning difficulties. They just think they’re “broken” or “a failure.” 

 

These are real stories. I’ve heard them from adults and young people, over and over again. 

 

One man told me he’d lost three jobs in a year because he couldn’t manage his time, even though he was brilliant at the work itself. Another woman said she’d been labelled “dramatic” her whole life, when in fact she was having meltdowns because she couldn’t regulate her emotions. 

 

 

 

We must teach people to understand their own brain. This isn’t something schools are teaching. It’s rarely something you’ll get from a GP. But it is something that can change lives. 

 

In our family support workshops, we work with individuals, children, teens, and adults, to help them recognise their executive functioning profile. 

 

We ask questions like: 

 

What skills are getting in your way? 

 

Where do you feel stuck every single day? 

 

Are you someone who forgets appointments but always remembers song lyrics? 

 

Do you struggle to get started on tasks even though you want to succeed? 

 

We help people make those connections. Because when someone says, “I’ve lost everything and I don’t know why,” we can often trace it back to a skill they never realised was weak, and never had support to build. 

 

The good news is, just like muscles, executive functioning skills can be improved. But only you can strengthen your skills. 

 

We can guide you, support you, and give you the right tools, but the journey has to start with self-awareness. 

 

You are not lazy. You are not broken. 

You are someone with a unique brain that works differently, and that brain deserves to be understood. 

 

Because once you know where things are going wrong, you can begin to put them right. 

And that changes everything. 

 

If you're ready to start that journey, our family support service is here to help. Whether you're a parent, carer, or an adult looking for answers, we’re here to support you to understand the ‘why’ behind the struggles, and help you build a better path forward.