ADHD Through the Ages: Why It Looks Different as Life Changes

That’s because life demands change, and with each new stage, different executive function skills are needed. If those skills are weak (which they often are for people with ADHD), it can suddenly feel like life is overwhelming, frustrating, or even impossible to manage. 

 

Let’s explore why ADHD can seem to "get worse" at different stages of life, when in reality, it’s just showing up in new ways. 

 

In early years, ADHD might be obvious: difficulty sitting still, blurting out answers, struggling to concentrate in class, or acting without thinking. Teachers and parents usually spot these behaviours quickly. 

 

But even here, inattention is often missed, especially in girls who might appear dreamy or forgetful rather than disruptive. These children may just be quietly struggling to keep up. 

 

As children become teens, schoolwork becomes more demanding. Homework, revision, and deadlines now require planning, organisation, and time management, core executive function skills that are often underdeveloped in ADHD. 

 

Suddenly, a child who "coped" in primary school may begin to fall behind. Emotional regulation may also become harder as hormones increase sensitivity to rejection and criticism. 

 

This is where many young people with undiagnosed ADHD start to feel the strain. At this stage of life, they are expected to: 

 

Manage their own time 

 

Hold down a job or study independently 

 

Pay bills and organise paperwork 

 

Make life decisions without much support 

 

But if their executive functioning skills haven’t caught up, these tasks feel overwhelming. 

 

They may miss deadlines, forget appointments, or feel paralysed by simple decisions. Relationships can become strained. It’s easy to internalise these difficulties as “laziness” or “failure,” when really, their brain is struggling to keep up with new demands. 

 

Many adults with ADHD have developed strategies to cope, or mask their struggles. But this can come at a cost. 

 

You might see an adult who’s always late, constantly overwhelmed, or endlessly making to-do lists they never complete. Others may thrive at work but struggle silently at home. Some burn out from years of trying to meet neurotypical expectations with a brain wired differently. 

 

And let’s not forget parents, especially mothers, who only realise they have ADHD after their child is diagnosed. They recognise themselves in the symptoms, often having spent a lifetime undiagnosed. 

 

Many people don’t realise there’s a strong link between ADHD and addictive behaviours. One of the key executive functioning challenges in ADHD is inhibitory control, the ability to pause, think, and resist temptation. Without it, people are more likely to act on impulse, especially when they're feeling bored, stressed, or overwhelmed. This can lead to higher rates of substance use, gambling, overeating, or other risk-taking behaviours. Often, these actions begin as ways to self-soothe or cope with emotions, but over time they can develop into serious problems. Recognising this connection is crucial, not to shame people, but to better support them with the right strategies and understanding. 

 

Because executive functioning demands increase, but the brain doesn't automatically catch up. ADHD brains don’t lack intelligence or creativity; they struggle with managing time, prioritising, switching focus, and staying regulated. 

 

Every life change, from starting uni to having a baby, requires a new level of organisation and self-control. If the brain isn’t wired for that, ADHD symptoms become more obvious or problematic. 

 

Recognise that ADHD is lifelong, but support should also be lifelong. 

 

Understand that every life stage needs different strategies. 

 

Focus on building executive functioning skills, not just managing behaviour. 

 

Offer compassion instead of criticism, both to yourself and others. 

 

ADHD isn’t a failure of character. It’s a different way of experiencing the world, and it needs a different kind of support. If you're struggling more than you used to, it's not because you're getting worse. It’s because life is asking more from a system that’s already working overtime. 

 

You don’t need to figure it all out alone. Understanding your brain is the first step to working with it, not against it.